dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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