I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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