Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
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Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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