youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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