me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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