I hate your face
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ugly people sure do ruin things
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
