Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
