i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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