I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I wear drunk well.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
