How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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