Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
