Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
