I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
