Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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