Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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