she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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