What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
