I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
