Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
