can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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