I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
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My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
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I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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