Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
