I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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