I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
whose ass print is on the piano?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
