did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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