If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize