How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
