She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You made out with two different species that night
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
