wakey wakey hands off snakey
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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