We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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