I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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