i think my tv is drunk
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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