she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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