Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
