fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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