I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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