so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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