Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
