brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
