I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
