im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
