true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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