The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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