Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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