O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she smelled like a LAN party
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
