She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
