She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
