We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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