also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
