Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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