Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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