What a fucking waste of an outfit
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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