I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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