Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
