Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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