i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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