my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
organizing the empties. That sober.
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when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
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I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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