K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
