Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
