you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Can't talk, ducks in the car
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
