I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Still dying that you shit outside
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
