everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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