how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
As shirtless as possible
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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