those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
