found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
