If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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