3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
false alarm, still single
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
