Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
