Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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